Shepherding Congregations through Grief Storms
Sylvia's husband died in a tragic hunting accident. Ten years later her friends described her as angry and bitter. "She never got over it," one said. "Stuck in the unfairness of her loss...can't move beyond it."
First Church's much-loved pastor retired. His replacement was an equally effective speaker, a caring pastor, and a far better administrator. But many long-term members did not like him. After four painful years, he relocated to another congregation.
Any significant life change (whether positive or negative) can cause feelings of loss and grief. As with individuals, a congregational grief experience often unfolds in the five stages that Elizabeth Kubler-Ross outlined decades ago: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and eventually - with the passage of time - resolution and healing.
But the way congregations experience grief makes it more difficult to recognize. Church members adjust to the grief of loss like a flotilla of ships moving through a storm at sea. Some ships move safely and quickly through the wind and waves, others slowly. A few ships do not survive the grief storm and are lost at sea: they stop attending or transfer to another congregation.
Download the Parish Paper to read more.
- Download: Parish Paper, August 2009
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